Words From a Wicked Woman

I honestly did try. Really. I just can’t make my body do what my mind would like. I need spine surgery to remove two cysts and fuse two vertebrae. Without that surgery I am in ever-increasing pain. I felt good enough for a few days to believe that I’d feel the same until I could get into an operating room. I was wrong. In the weeks since my last post, I have lost almost all ability to walk. Certainly, I’ve lost any ability to be pain-free without laying down. There is no way I can clear my head enough to write cogently on any topic at all even if I have very definite opinions about what’s going on in the world.

I was originally scheduled for surgery November 2. However, I learned earlier this week that my beloved, adored, symbiotically-attached-at-the-hip Airedale Terrier probably has liver cancer. “Probably” because we don’t know for sure and won’t find out until at least November 1. It’s possible she only has Cushing’s disease, which is bad enough, but also treatable. I can’t have surgery that will leave me out of the house for at least two weeks when I don’t know how much time I’ll have with her. The thought of her living her last days without me, and me without her, is far more painful than anything that could be going on with my spine. And so, for Lola and for myself, I’ve postponed my surgery. It is tentatively re-scheduled for the end of November, but I may have to put it off again depending on Lola’s test results.

Given this unfortunate turn of events, I deeply regret to announce that Words From a Wicked Woman will close until at least January and possibly February. I need to focus all of my energies on Lola’s health and my own. I have no doubt, however, that I will be back. Until then, I hope that you all have love and wonder in your lives.

Technorati Tags: blogging

It’s been almost three months since my last post and that one was on one of my more periphery topics–Apple Computer. It’s been even longer since I’ve been able to bring readers news and comment on LGBT, POC or religious issues. I have truly missed doing so, however, I have been very busy taking care of my health. I learned in May that I’d contracted reactive arthritis. It is a type of arthritis that can develop due to an infection in another part of the body. In this case, it was traced to an earlier sinus infection. At around the same time, I began to have difficulty with another part of my body that drained me of any energy that wasn’t already being drained due to fibromyalgia and back and leg pain. All of these conditions are still present, although it seems as though the reactive arthritis has abated.

Last month I learned that the pain I’ve had in my back and leg since early 2006 is due to something called a synovial cyst that is sitting on my spinal cord. In fact, there are two of them, one on each side of the cord. The pain has been such that I haven’t been able to get out in the world and the pain medication tended to leave me a bit on the foggy side. Therefore, I’ve been completely unable to write. After attempting an alternative to the fairly heavy medication I’ve been on, it seems that my only real relief will come from spinal surgery that I will have on November 2. This surgery will fuse my spine to keep the cysts from returning in the future. However, spinal surgery is a serious business. It involves a great deal of pain and quite a lot of rehabilitation. The fusion itself will take a year or more to heal completely and it is probably safe to say that I will spend a great deal of time in bed in the beginning of that process. It occurs to me that I may be able to write then if my pain is controlled.

For reasons that are completely unknown to me, even though I’ve switched to stronger pain medication, the fog I’ve been under seems to have lifted somewhat and enabled my brain to function more normally. It was never my intent to abandon this blog and it is my wish to continue writing leading up to my spinal surgery. However, it is safe to say that the content of the blog may change a bit. While I will continue to write on subjects similar to those of the past, I will do so from a more personal perspective. Everyone and her brother has an opinion on their subject(s) of choice. Words From a Wicked Woman has tended more toward passing along information with, perhaps, a smattering of opinion as opposed to 500 to 800 words of opinionated prose. What I’d like to do now is take a more balanced approach by presenting opinion based on research and observation, thereby providing readers with a more informed view of what I think.

When all is said and done, I am a journalist. Theoretically, journalism is supposed to be unbiased. In truth, it rarely is. That does not mean journalism is unfair as long as both sides are presented. Think MSNBC versus Fox News. One tends to lean to the political Left and the other way over to the political Right. Forget for the moment that only one is a “real” news organization and pretend that they are both equally respected. If both news organizations present each side of a controversial topic, then it is appropriate to say that both are fair in their coverage, even though they each have a different perspective. Just think of me as the darker-skinned, ovarially-gifted, somewhat humor-challenged version of Keith Olbermann, host of MSNBC’s Countdown. Olbermann never fails to deliver the news, but he does so with thought-provoking, often sarcastic, informed commentary. More often than not, he is right on the mark–in my opinion.

It is my wish to get back to doing that which I love: writing and researching. Ah, but if wishes were horses I’d have a whole stable of jumpers. Hmm, perhaps it’s time for me to get out my jodhpurs.

Technorati Tags: blogging, health

You may have noticed that there have been no new postings to this blog in almost two weeks. That is due to both personal and medical issues back-to-back. Although I do not post about my personal life, it is not unknown for me to keep readers abreast of whatever medical difficulties I am having if they interfere with the writing of this blog. Sorry, but that simply isn’t possible in this instance. This one has the potential to be very serious and is definitely very personal.

The medical issue befell me as I was working on an intriguing issue: the objection of some to the inclusion of transgender people in federal hate crimes legislation. Ironically, the piece was almost finished but for a comment or two from official sources when I became ill. I am still working on getting those sources to speak on the record even as I’m laying in bed wishing that I had the mental and physical energy to get back to that thing I love–writing. I do anticipate being back at some point next week, but, as much as I don’t want to admit it, that date could change also.

So, until I can get back to you, be well; be safe, and; continue to think critically.

Technorati Tags: blogging, hate crimes, health, transgender

I have been in a lot of pain since last weekend but was dumbfounded to find myself in hospital at the Cleveland Clinic this afternoon, scheduled to remain through this weekend. I got a call from my orthopedist’s office this morning saying that tests I’d taken last Wednesday indicated that I probably had a infection in my knee joint and needed to have emergency surgery to clean it out. This is the same knee that should have been replaced March 21 but wasn’t because I was sick with the remains of a sinus infection while undergoing pre-op testing. It is that same sinus infection that is believed to have traveled to my knee, causing it swell to at least 150% of its normal size and caused enough pain this last week to prevent me from leaving my bed–other than to go to my orthopedist’s office.

I got to the hospital a couple of hours after my doctor’s office phoned me, but the order of the day was “hurry up and wait.” In the meantime, I hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since the night before and no pain medication. I finally moved up to a patient room three hours after my arrival. Unfortunately, by the time I got there I was in so much pain, and had had so little sleep, my blood pressure was way over normal. Infection or not, there would be no surgery today because my blood pressure was too high. No amount of explaining why it was so high worked. The up side of that was that I could at least eat.

OK, so the food wasn’t great. (At least it was something one might consider calling “food” if you’re a half-starved, nicotine-deprived crazy woman with blood in your eyes like I was.) Still, I have to say that I’ve seen more attendings on a Friday evening at The Clinic than I’ve ever seen past 6 p.m. any day of the week at other area hospitals–and this isn’t even the hospital attached to Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, University Hospitals (where they do have really good food). If I’m going to be sick, and I can choose where I’m going to be sick, I will almost always choose UH. The only reason I’m here is because the one doctor I can honestly say I truly like is here. In fact, this is probably the last time I’ll see him since he’s headed out the door to retirement any minute now and has, technically, passed me on to a colleague. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him. But, to prove that Fate’s hand was at work today, the colleague to which my doctor has passed me is the same one who will be deciding, finally, about whether to proceed with surgery Monday because my beloved doctor is going to his swan song conference as president of some professional organization or another in Florida. Yeah, he gets to lay on a beach in the sun while I’m here in his hospital eating crappy food, watching the snow fly and wondering if my leg is going to fall off while I have a nicotine fit. I really should have gone to medical school. I was supposed to see the new doctor for the first time for an office visit on Monday . Well, I’ll see him Monday alright–because I’m in the hospital.

I’m starting to ramble. It’s the drugs. I am bored out of my skull and it will probably only get worse even though there are far too many doctors and nurses walking in and out of my room. They are all very nice, but all very annoying because they want to hear things over and over again. Yet another phlebotomist will be here any minute to take more blood and I am deeply thankful that it isn’t someone else with an aspiration needle to take more yuckiness from the infected joint because that business hurts like you would not believe. I’ve heard that I will be getting high doses of antibiotics and, with any luck, more pain meds.

I will try to post something next week. Until then, I hope that your local Major League Baseball team had a fabulous Opening Day. It snowed on ours and I’m pretty sure this game is going to be called due to weather. Better luck next year!

Technorati Tags: blogging, disability, health

I’ve been immersed in study of sexual minorities in Africa and the current debate about full inclusion of LGBT members in the Episcopal Church, U.S.A. Both of those topics require esoteric knowledge I am still attempting to grasp even after long hours of examination. In addition, fibromyalgia absolutely floored me last week like I’ve not experienced in many months. I was in so much pain that my blood pressure rose precipitously and necessitated rescheduling the knee replacement surgery that was scheduled for this Thursday, March 22. I have not gotten a new date as yet, but I will keep you informed.

I’ve been in contact with Davis Mac-Iyalla, director of Changing Attitude Nigeria, an Anglican Church gay rights group, who has been forced to flee his own country and seek safe harbor elsewhere due to death threats received in connection with his advocacy for gay rights both within the Church of Nigeria (Anglican Communion) and his opposition to legislation in front of the National Assembly that would forbid: any displays of same-sex affection in public or private; any assembly of LGBT people–even so much as having dinner together; any advocacy for civil or human rights,; or any number of other things depending on how strictly one chooses to read the proposed law. He has agreed to an e-mail interview and I am eagerly awaiting his response to my questions. In the meantime, I’ve been reading any current material I can find as this man truly is in danger. The situation for LGBT in Nigeria was never good, but the atmosphere has gotten worse by multitudes of degrees.

I’m still recovering from the fibro flare, so I have no idea how many posts there will be this week. Again, I ask for your understanding. In the meantime, I’ve written one about the current situation in Nigeria and its impact on immigration to this country that I encourage you to distribute widely anywhere and everywhere. I promised Davis that I would get let people know what is going on with LGBT Nigerians.

Technorati Tags: activism, africa, blogging, disability, fibromyalgia, gay, health, lesbian, lgbt