I honestly did try. Really. I just can’t make my body do what my mind would like. I need spine surgery to remove two cysts and fuse two vertebrae. Without that surgery I am in ever-increasing pain. I felt good enough for a few days to believe that I’d feel the same until I could get into an operating room. I was wrong. In the weeks since my last post, I have lost almost all ability to walk. Certainly, I’ve lost any ability to be pain-free without laying down. There is no way I can clear my head enough to write cogently on any topic at all even if I have very definite opinions about what’s going on in the world.

I was originally scheduled for surgery November 2. However, I learned earlier this week that my beloved, adored, symbiotically-attached-at-the-hip Airedale Terrier probably has liver cancer. “Probably” because we don’t know for sure and won’t find out until at least November 1. It’s possible she only has Cushing’s disease, which is bad enough, but also treatable. I can’t have surgery that will leave me out of the house for at least two weeks when I don’t know how much time I’ll have with her. The thought of her living her last days without me, and me without her, is far more painful than anything that could be going on with my spine. And so, for Lola and for myself, I’ve postponed my surgery. It is tentatively re-scheduled for the end of November, but I may have to put it off again depending on Lola’s test results.

Given this unfortunate turn of events, I deeply regret to announce that Words From a Wicked Woman will close until at least January and possibly February. I need to focus all of my energies on Lola’s health and my own. I have no doubt, however, that I will be back. Until then, I hope that you all have love and wonder in your lives.

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