Welcome to my blog, Words From a Wicked Woman.  ”Why is she wicked?” you ask. Because I dare to be. I am a black woman, descendent of free men and women as well as the occasional slave who got it on with his or her mistress or master–consensually or not (and I’m voting for “not”). I am “mostly lez,” as I tend to say if pushed about how I describe my sexuality to others, which usually ends with, “Oh, what does that mean?” I have a brain that I’m not afraid to use even when my thoughts are very unpopular. I have a heart that beats strong in my chest (with a small swoosh) and deep in my core, even though I get in serious trouble because of it at times. I tend not to suffer fools lightly at all and believe there are far too many fools in the world, a disproportionate number of them on the Internet.

I am also “wicked” because  I was born disabled by a drug, “thalidomide,” prevalent in Europe and the United Kingdom in the very late 1950s and early 1960s that was not approved for distribution in the U.S. at the time. A short list of the effects on the fetus includes spontaneous abortion; death at, or shortly after, birth; internal organ malformations, and; limb deformities of different severities, but all tremendously emotionally, and often physically, painful. Although not approved for wide distribution here, drug reps are relentless and got thalidomide into the hands of some doctors. Officially, the company that originally manufactured and distributed the drug recognized 17 cases in the U.S. as compared to the tens of thousands recognized throughout the rest of the world. I understand that the laws, at least at the federal level, were even more corporate-friendly then than they are now. Therefore, when the case finally settled in the 1980s, it was for a paltry $20,000 a piece. That would barely cover the cost of one prosthesis, not to mention the frequent doctors’ visits in childhood, special adaptive equipment and physical therapy. (I learned to HATE physical therapy from early childhood on and honestly see very limited uses for it under most circumstances other than soothing a doctor’s conscience that s/he’d done everything possible.) Through my own research conducted just by talking to people who worked with disabled kids or had disabled kids of their own then, there are a lot more than 17 of us all over the country.  The story will most assuredly make me more than just wicked because I am determined to fight, even though I can’t get the years of life I was robbed of back.

I am also, and perhaps even more, disabled by a condition called “fibromyalgia.” Again, the subject of several posts I’d wager, although the fibro is no one’s fault. Episodes, called “flares,” can last from a few days to a few years. Consequently, years can pass where I may as well not exist because I can’t “come out and play” with my peers. Their lives move on and mine stands still. If it were up to most of the medical community, I wouldn’t have any life at all. I’d be bed-ridden because I wasn’t receiving proper medication for the pain. Each case is different, something doctors forget. Where one therapy may work for one patient, it may be a complete waste of time and a huge disappointment for another. I’ve got one disability that gradually wears my body down because I am not built the way evolution says I’m supposed to be built and I’ve got another that causes more pain on top of that I already have. Yet, trying to get opiod therapy is incredibly difficult. I had every intention of ending my own life when, not if, the pain became too much. Now, I’m in better health and I’m going to live as much as I can for as long as I can. No one, including me, knows how long that will be. I am wicked because I refuse to allow anyone, especially some doctor without a clue, tell me how to slowly, painfully die.

I am a very wicked woman because I dare to be aware. A lot of things go on in the world the powers that be–politicians, military, multi-national conglomerates and whatever religion suits your fancy–do not want the public to know anything about because there may just be enough people who care to stop the ubiquitous “them.” If I’ve learned nothing else as a journalist, “them” can turn beet red with both anger and embarrassment when their dirty deeds come under the light of media scrutiny. Actually, I should say that they turn beet red when their dirty deeds come under scrutiny by the alternative press. Have any of you watched a network or cable news program lately? Have you read a national newspaper in hardcopy or online? The network and cable stations all run the same few stories around the clock as if there’s nothing else going on in this huge, amazing world of ours.  Newspapers aren’t quite as bad because they have more space to fill, but there is a scary consolidation of ownership that means less real news that isn’t controlled by some large corporation.

On the other hand, the public has gotten into the news game. That is good in some ways and not good at all in others. No news organization can be everywhere, but if there’s someone with a camera and a telephone, there’s a “citizen journalist” with a story. The unfortunate aspect of this scenario is that there are a lot of people running around reporting things as fact that haven’t been fact-checked. It’s one thing to record a riot on your videophone and another to report that a group of Communists are rioting and breaking retail shops when it’s actually a small faction of Fascists. I am constantly amazed, amused and frustrated that even the talking heads on some rightist cable channels don’t know the distinction. Should I be surprised that a non-journalist supposedly practicing journalism doesn’t know? Dare to be aware, but be aware you may not know all you should before calling something “truth.” It’s a shame, but the simple deed of checking facts makes me wicked because it is so non-conformist in today’s news outlets in new media and old, standard or alternative press.

Now that I’ve established my “wicked” bona fides, let’s take a moment and talk about the direction this blog will be taking in the future. It’s a bit of the same with a lot of the fresh and sassy.

One thing about being sick is that the patient has far too much time on their hands. Never one to sit idly by for anything, I began to start looking at popular culture, particularly music, in a new way. One of the few consistencies  in my life is music. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t surround myself with it in some fashion from the time I was in elementary school.

Since my life has been filled with music, and since I graduated university with all the right courses to go into the business end of the music industry, it seems only natural that music reviews and news become an area of coverage. My personal tastes span the spectrum from classical to classic soul/R&B to country. No, really. I have come to love a lot of modern country music because it says things that rap and hip-hop are not. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy some rappers, because I do. However, for the most part, it’s not my forté. Neo-soul, (and I’m not referring to the singer Ne-yo, although he does fit), isn’t bad, but it can’t beat the Dell’s Stay In My Corner. Then again, Robin Thicke can rock my world with his music anytime.

Another little pastime I’ve picked up while away is watching Bravo’s two stylist reality shows. The Rachel Zoe Project, with famed Hollywood stylist/designer/new mom Rachel Zoe, either finished shooting its fourth season or airing its fourth season. I’m thinking that it may be the former because my DVR is set to record her show whenever it’s on, new or not. Whatever the case may be, Zoe’s client list doesn’t do the A-listers, uh uh. Her clients are the double A-listers! That’s only half the fun of watching her, though. The real fun comes when she’s with her office staff–her “team,” as she likes to say–her friends, her family of birth and the family she’s made with her gorgeous husband, Roger Berman, who serves as the chief operating officer to Zoe’s chief executive officer. The woman is absolutely neurotic and I love it!! She’s also rich and getting richer with a couple of new clothing and accessory lines she’s designed herself and pitches via the web and one of the television shopping channels.

More recently, I’ve been watching It’s a Brad, Brad World with Brad Goreski, Rachel’s former assistant stylist who resigned, so he told Rachel, to spend more time with his boyfriend, writer/producer Gary Janetti. Uh huh. Yeah, right! I suppose that’s why he has his own show on the same network now. He didn’t lie–technically. He and Gary are spending more time together since Brad started his business in the garage of the beautiful home they own in the Hollywood Hills. Believe me, I’m going to go back to the Rachel Zoe Project’s homepage on the Bravo TV site to watch the episodes I missed where she found out Brad had landed his own show. I can imagine lots and lots of anger and angst. Be that as it may, I do have to say that Brad is good, which I already knew from watching him with Rachel. He’s also got several irons in the fire–so much so that he hired the concierge of his favorite New York hotel to come to L.A. and work for him.

I am slowly becoming a . . . fashionista of a sort. Few of us can afford to drop a house note on a chic bag or pair of shoes and most of us aren’t sizes 0-12. What about the rest of us? That’s where I come in. This is a whole new area for me. I used to design clothing for myself in high school, but that’s as far as it went. Therefore, I don’t foresee fashion becoming a major topic of discussion, but I do see it being an underlying presence. I am particularly interested in what’s online because it’s not always easy for me to walk around a department store if I decide I don’t want the hassle of getting my electric wheelchair out of the van. I have found some really great places to shop online for us sizzling hot, sensual and sexy zaftig women. There’s one I’ll tease here that sells tights and leggings to *ahem* dye for!

In essence, Words From A Wicked Woman will become more of a lifestyle blog than it’s been in the past. That doesn’t mean I’ve given up political news, commentary and critique–no, no, no. It means that politics will always be a major area of coverage, but there are times when we all just want to relax and have some good, old-fashioned fun listening to good music, watching a good television program or taking our credit cards for a walk without stumbling over the price tags. The difference between Wicked Woman and other lifestyle blogs is sitting in front of her laptop right now typing this new About page. Me! I’m a bit naughty, a bit savvy and a bit careless about who may be offended by some subjects, (Right Wing, homophobic, transphobic, fundamentalist anythings should be very wary), although purposely hurting people is, in my opinion, evil. Like Google’s supposed slogan at least used to say, “Don’t be evil.”

I have no evil schemes in mind, but I might find a wicked one.

BIO

From 2000 through 2003 I wrote primarily for LGBT media. Over 40 published articles with my byline have appeared on a former incarnation of the site LesbiaNation.com; in Venus Magazine before the publisher supposedly found Jesus and began preaching deliverance from homosexuality to the delight of Right Wing Religious Nuts, and; Arise magazine before it ceased publication. I have also written for the now bankrupt Window Media group–publisher of the LGBT newspapers Southern Voice and The Washington Blade, and; the Mac Observer where I wrote about one of my favorite subjects, Apple, Inc.

If, for some reason, you wish to contact me, I can be reached at thewickedwoman (at) att dot net.